My 1st Year

Since I am still within my first year of “awakening”, I thought maybe I can give some insight to what I have realized/experienced along the way to maybe help someone else. I think some of these points below, I have touched on with other blogs but just piling everything into one 😊.

So for me, it was both exciting but troubling at least when I first started this journey.  The best way I can describe how I felt was like the veil had been lifted and I finally saw the world as it really was, which was good because then I could start relearning the things I thought I knew but bad because I saw a lot of things that are “wrong”. One thing I recently came across was having the mindset of not trying to judge others and look at it in a way of people are trying to do their best with what they know… because you don’t know what you don’t know. So instead of coming down on a person of why they think or act a certain way, I am trying (because haven’t mastered this) to look at it in a way of having more patience and understanding. This mindset is helping me work through some of my frustrations I have with society (as a whole).

No matter what you do – you will always do “damage” to your kid(s). This for me took a bit of hmmm… coping with – maybe that’s the best term for it. Once I learned how childhood trauma played a role in my adulthood, all I could do was replay every mistake I had made as a parent…because as a parent, you always want your child to grow up and be the best version of his/her self. I did the best I could but like most (if not all, I am sure), have regrets about choices/decisions I made in regard to parenting/raising my children. Therefore, I have accepted that I can’t beat myself up for past mistakes and will just be more conscience going forward. In reading about childhood trauma – the trauma doesn’t even have to be that dramatic to be detrimental to the child’s adult life. For example, one trauma is abandonment, which can be caused by simply the child having to be dropped off at a daycare at a young age. I mean, I have always been in a position where I never had the option/luxury to be a stay at home parent, so right there by just doing what is required of me, I may or may not of caused “trauma”. So, if you are a parent, just know it is okay – you are doing your best and that is all you can do (don’t beat yourself up about it or dwell on past “mistakes”, which are just learning lessons anyways).

Take one step at a time! It can be so overwhelming with all this new knowledge coming in and so easy to go down random rabbit holes. I would suggest keeping a list of different topics that you come across that you want to dive more into, so you don’t forget. I just wouldn’t suggest trying to research/read everything all at once. And yes, you will sometimes come across different point of views that contradict one another – for me, I went with what resented and felt right. I believe there is no “one size fits all” approach and not everyone is going to have the same 100% belief system so keep doing your research until you figure out what is best for you.

Patience – patience – patience. It kind of goes with my point above because just like with learning and taking it one step at a time, remember to have patience with yourself as well. Just because you have “awakened” doesn’t mean some magical switch happens and now you are this “perfect” vessel…for me at least, this was the start of all my healing – which takes TIME! I have done a lot of rehashing and reviewing my past experiences and doing a lot of mental work in figuring out why I am the way I am (in order to find root beliefs that no longer fit me and trying to discover the “real” me). Also, it is like peeling an onion, once you find one layer you keep peeling away just to find more. I will insert a caution here – once things are “healed” move on from it/ let go. It is easy to get into a cycle of digging to the point of nothing really gets “healed” because it just keeps getting reopened.

This journey can also be very lonely at times and you may have times where you feel really secluded or disconnected to those around you. Since your perspective starts to change, it is only natural for your group of people to change (at least to an extent). People who aren’t as awakened won’t have the easiest time understanding what you are going through, and you may realize some relationships you have may not be the healthiest for you. If this happens (which I have found many people to feel this way), my suggestion is not seclude yourself so much where you loose touch with society but to find support groups (even like youtubers/social media) that you do connect with because it will help in your journey to know you are not alone!

Let yourself be human. At one point, I got caught up in trying to be “positive” and wouldn’t let myself process the “negative” things and feelings that life would hit at me. Don’t do this – LOL! I almost made myself have a breakdown because being “positive” all the time made me want to “give up”. It is soooo hard to be positive 24/7 (just being realistic). Remember you are human, living in this human world and part of that is feeling and experiencing life for what is it. You will still have “negative” reactions/emotions – allow yourself to process them and learn/grow.

Last but definitely important – mediate. I would 100000% recommend mediation. Even if you are someone who can’t still their mind or not really interested in it – I would still push myself to do it at least a couple of minutes every day. If you absolutely refuse – lol – then I would recommend having a “quiet time” where you just let your mind relax. Example just sitting out in nature enjoying the breeze/sun, sitting by the beach, and enjoying the view, something along those lines where you give yourself that time with no distractions because it will help in the process.

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